as time goes on i’m convinced that meant to sacrifice myself into the open volcano pit known as the tech industry, that i’m the idiot who showed up to the gold rush right as the last mine shuttered its doors. that some cosmic entity out there placed me at the exact moment in human history when i would be tricked into caring about academics, career, and worst of all the whims of hiring managers in the pursuit of being able to have a comfortable existence under capitalism. i don’t think this specific issue i’m facing is capitalism’s fault, however i can’t profess to love or condone a system in which my livelihood is controlled not by my own effort or community, but by an algorithm sitting in a data center at a fortune 500 company whose sole job is dedicated to figuring out which resume is correlated with maximizing shareholder value. for a month now i’ve been knocking on the door of big tech and have yet to hear as much as a foot step on the other side.

  i figured i’d go down the route of software developer because of my love of game development, and i don’t know if this whole plan of mine is as foolproof as lead myself to believe. i adore video games as an artistic medium, i’ve been making them for 2,636 days. i’ll keep making them regardless of if anyone plays them, if i like them, or if the same cosmic entity that put us here switches the lights in the basement off and never comes back down.

-fin (2024-09-27)